As we sat in the darkened room last Thursday evening, out of the corner of my eye I saw the friend sitting to my right remove his glasses and draw his sleeved forearm across his eyes. Earlier I had heard him make that sound we make when we work at trying to hold back our tears. Across the aisle, a young woman quietly dabbed just below where her spectacles struck her face. Earlier in the evening I had noticed her and her companion. They seemed very comfortable in a room filled mostly with undergrad gay men and lesbians. A few of us were older, a few of us even older, old enough even to be the grandparents of these undergrads. We were just about to finish watching the documentary, For the Bible Tells Me So, which strives to capture some of the agony and the ecstasy of gay and lesbian individuals and their families.
Who are we people of the other sexuality that supposedly have been marked for separation, and according to some who claim to understand Holy Scripture, for eternal damnation? For some time now, the politically correct terminology for the group of people who comprise the “other sexuality” has been GLBT—gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender. So I guess that’s what I am. I don’t know that any John or Jane Q. off the street would recognize me as such, although I don’t really go out of my way to blend in. We can’t necessarily be held separate, discriminated against, or punished somehow based on different skin color or tone or shape of eye. Of course, at times all of these factors coincide. I guess that’s what you call a double whammy. I’m just a guy who at 64 has never been married to a woman. I’ve never defined myself based on my sexual orientation. I am a person, I am a male, I am by God’s own hand attracted to men, and I am a person of faith. I have taken my stand in the Church. I am bona fide.
On the lighter side, I don’t want to wear women’s clothes, although my spirit soars when I hear Jerry Herman’s lyrics to “I Am What I Am”, the anthem of La Cage Aux Folles.—“Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say, hey world, I am what I am”. On the serious side, which is the purpose of the documentary, the concern is the life and lives of males and females, adolescent and adult, of every stripe and spot. We are talking about the person who finds himself or herself held separate and marked as unworthy because of sexual orientation. And, we are talking about families sometimes torn apart by ignorance and failed love. And, we are talking sometimes about life and death matters. Worst of all, we are talking about ruin that results from the actions of people, who in the case of Christian folk, claim to be living out the teachings of Christ. Au contraire.
For the Bible Tells Me So takes a close look at several families, including both the birth family and the heterosexual marriage of Gene V. Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the history of the Anglican church; the family of Senator Richard Gephardt (D-MO), whose daughter faced the truth of her sexuality after an attempt at heterosexual marriage; a Black husband and wife, who share a ministry in the church, and their Ivy League-educated daughter; a young man, raised as a devout Lutheran, who chose to out himself as a teen, ultimately with the support of his mother and father. Perhaps most touching of all is the mother who must tell her story alone because the daughter whose sexuality she rejected took her own life in her early 30s. The documentary brings a message of hope, both for and through these families. In spite of the message of damnation preached from the pulpit, the protests of people who hold up Holy Scripture to justify their placards of hate, and horror of all horrors, those who maim and kill out of ignorance, hope remains.
We, a mostly educated audience, comprised largely of GLBT folk, watched our lives move in frames across the screen. We nodded our heads in understanding, and then shook our heads in understanding. We have walked the walk and talked the talk. Each of us has our own story to tell, our struggle with loving ourselves, our own family story, our own story of school and work and community. Frankly, it doesn’t matter so much that the producers of this documentary used scholars and their scholarship to refute the proof-texting that has characterized the efforts of those who would shut out any child of God. I would like to believe that such scholarship could really make a difference. Scholarship doesn't change hearts, however. Only through faith in the God who made us all, through embracing God's love can hearts change. Hate is institutionalized, and it is individualized in the heart—hearts that for some reason need to judge others. I am the woman at the well, the leper, the tax collector. I am a gay man knocking at the door, one who reaches into his pocket and opens his own door for those in need of a helping hand. I am a child of God who in the middle of the night reminds himself that he is both blessed and a blessing. Only love, indeed the need to love, can change the hearts of those who would fence me out of the kingdom. This is what the Holy Bible tells me.
Don’t Fence Me Out—Normangee, Texas (February 4, 2008)
R. Harold Hollis
Who are we people of the other sexuality that supposedly have been marked for separation, and according to some who claim to understand Holy Scripture, for eternal damnation? For some time now, the politically correct terminology for the group of people who comprise the “other sexuality” has been GLBT—gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender. So I guess that’s what I am. I don’t know that any John or Jane Q. off the street would recognize me as such, although I don’t really go out of my way to blend in. We can’t necessarily be held separate, discriminated against, or punished somehow based on different skin color or tone or shape of eye. Of course, at times all of these factors coincide. I guess that’s what you call a double whammy. I’m just a guy who at 64 has never been married to a woman. I’ve never defined myself based on my sexual orientation. I am a person, I am a male, I am by God’s own hand attracted to men, and I am a person of faith. I have taken my stand in the Church. I am bona fide.
On the lighter side, I don’t want to wear women’s clothes, although my spirit soars when I hear Jerry Herman’s lyrics to “I Am What I Am”, the anthem of La Cage Aux Folles.—“Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say, hey world, I am what I am”. On the serious side, which is the purpose of the documentary, the concern is the life and lives of males and females, adolescent and adult, of every stripe and spot. We are talking about the person who finds himself or herself held separate and marked as unworthy because of sexual orientation. And, we are talking about families sometimes torn apart by ignorance and failed love. And, we are talking sometimes about life and death matters. Worst of all, we are talking about ruin that results from the actions of people, who in the case of Christian folk, claim to be living out the teachings of Christ. Au contraire.
For the Bible Tells Me So takes a close look at several families, including both the birth family and the heterosexual marriage of Gene V. Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the history of the Anglican church; the family of Senator Richard Gephardt (D-MO), whose daughter faced the truth of her sexuality after an attempt at heterosexual marriage; a Black husband and wife, who share a ministry in the church, and their Ivy League-educated daughter; a young man, raised as a devout Lutheran, who chose to out himself as a teen, ultimately with the support of his mother and father. Perhaps most touching of all is the mother who must tell her story alone because the daughter whose sexuality she rejected took her own life in her early 30s. The documentary brings a message of hope, both for and through these families. In spite of the message of damnation preached from the pulpit, the protests of people who hold up Holy Scripture to justify their placards of hate, and horror of all horrors, those who maim and kill out of ignorance, hope remains.
We, a mostly educated audience, comprised largely of GLBT folk, watched our lives move in frames across the screen. We nodded our heads in understanding, and then shook our heads in understanding. We have walked the walk and talked the talk. Each of us has our own story to tell, our struggle with loving ourselves, our own family story, our own story of school and work and community. Frankly, it doesn’t matter so much that the producers of this documentary used scholars and their scholarship to refute the proof-texting that has characterized the efforts of those who would shut out any child of God. I would like to believe that such scholarship could really make a difference. Scholarship doesn't change hearts, however. Only through faith in the God who made us all, through embracing God's love can hearts change. Hate is institutionalized, and it is individualized in the heart—hearts that for some reason need to judge others. I am the woman at the well, the leper, the tax collector. I am a gay man knocking at the door, one who reaches into his pocket and opens his own door for those in need of a helping hand. I am a child of God who in the middle of the night reminds himself that he is both blessed and a blessing. Only love, indeed the need to love, can change the hearts of those who would fence me out of the kingdom. This is what the Holy Bible tells me.
Don’t Fence Me Out—Normangee, Texas (February 4, 2008)
R. Harold Hollis
3 comments:
I was once advised by a wise monk not to label myself as "deposed priest" but to accept the gift of my being a child of God and, by the grace of baptism, a member of the Body of Christ. All else is secondary. In that vein (and not for the same reason) I find the phrase "other sexuality" abhorrent because, at least from my perspective, misses the point and misstates the facts. It misses the point because, as you said, my dear friend, you are a child of God whose sexuality is part and parcel of your being created in God's own image. It misstates the facts because there is no such thing as "the other sexuality." There is only "human sexuality" of which homosexuality is a manifestation -- apparently one of many more than just the surreality of there being just two.
The church's struggle with this issue is long overdue -- and our conservative sisters and brothers are right about at least one thing: It is about the authority of scripture, and in my view it challenges the notion that we're entitled to beat each other over the head with proof-texts when the overarching biblical message, as interpreted by our Lord Jesus, is that we love God, love our neighbor and be reconciled with one another. All else is secondary, and the healing of whatever rifts there may be among us begins with our commitment to live our common life on those terms.
I guess this post begs the question what is a child of God? Jesus said if you love me obey my commands. Does this mean someone who is "disposed" to murder is also a child of God and there for should be allowed to life his life? How about gossip? Sin is still sin, it doesn't matter if I claim to love God or not the proof is in my actions and many times I have to repent for my actions. But what is repentance? Is it to strive to not repeat the same sin?
In discussing sexuality, is it wrong for a man to force his wife to have sex with him? The God I know would say yes that is sin. The God I know also says men sleeping with men and women sleeping with women is also sin. So is to hate someone.
Question is are you only going fully agree with God's label of sin or are you going to, as many do, only accept the ones that you like?
I just stubled on your blog from Cherry Hill. Your writing is wonderful. I live in Dallas and am familiar with Leon County. Your blog says you lived in Sante Fe...one of my favorite places. I spent a summer in college working at place called Ghost Ranch. The best sunsets ever.
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